Names have been changed in the story to protect my clients.
April sat by the window. The rain tapped against the glass, a soft rhythm that mirrored the ache in her heart. It had been 4 weeks since she lost her daughter June, her only daughter, and the world felt drained of its colour. There had been a bad traffic accident and April was still wondering why?
She hesitated, then made the call. What could a funeral celebrant really do to help? The thought of planning a ceremony felt overwhelming, but doing nothing felt worse. April reached for the phone.
I said “Hello, I am the Lincoln Celebrant” April’s voice carried the weight of loss. We chatted together for 20 minutes and we arranged to meet. I finished our call by saying; “Please ring me if you cannot remember anything”. I am here to provide support.
(Then I emailed April, my contact details and phone number along with an information sheet about what a celebrant does-she could read those the next day).
We met, a few days later, in a quiet space, April told me about June who grew from a young girl into a woman full of laughter and kindness. We spoke about her life and the important memories; We chatted about pop music, make-up experiments, dating, holidays and Christmas time! Her love of life.
I reassured April that the ceremony could be religious or non-religious and we shaped it in a way that was truthful, kind and gentle, just like June.
We emailed and messaged each other to stay in touch. I sent my service draft through by email and we chatted about some of the changes April wanted to make, we did those together over the phone and I printed a final draft for April to keep.
April was starting to feel more certain about the day of the funeral. She said “I feel sure I am doing the right thing; I feel it’s important now to say goodbye to my daughter in a way that feels right for me”.
I said I would meet her at the green burial site. On the day of the funeral service, April looked more peaceful, she was still very upset and appreciated her family being around.
The family were bringing unwrapped flowers, to put on top of her wicker coffin, they also wanted to leave some English Bluebells to go into the meadow, because June had always enjoyed summer picnics. A guitar player provided some wonderful background music.
On the day of the funeral, I met April and explained what was going to happen. We all followed the coffin to the right place. I read the service we had planned together and everyone held hands. Family and friends had brought pictures of June printed on re-cycled paper to throw on top of the coffin and we had poems, and music in the sunshine.
If this service or something similar feels right for you, then please give me a call:
The Lincoln celebrant offers personal and professional support, you are in a safe pair of hands.
Kerry Stamp can be found on www.thelincolncelebrant.com (tel: 07533384094)